I can see why
I can see why I’m miserable:
- my friends live at least 30 minutes away and never visit me
- I’m horrible with money
- I’m a fat ass
- I’m unemployed (to my standard at least.. flower-mart doesn’t exactly say success)
- I’m restless for no reason
I wouldn’t want to hang out with me either. Not soon anyway, I’ve been in such a negative mood, I don’t even like hanging out with myself.
My only escapes from social and financial issues are to drive around smoking cigarettes and sometimes pot.. pot just kinda makes me forget about stuff and worry more about what the sky is made out of. Which is something I’d rather focus on to be honest. It’s better than drinking and driving. If it was legal, believe me, I’d be doing it.
Sometimes I wish I was less motivated and was still getting my undergrad… at least then I wouldn’t be worrying about living with my parents and driving myself insane. I only leave to smoke cigarettes, go to interviews only to not get the job, and water plants at a fucking flower-mart… kinda seems like I have no friends at the moment.
I can’t remember the last time I received a phone call that wasn’t money or work related. No one really asks how I’m doing. Not like I would give a straight answer anyway. ”I’m fine, just doing what I do” WTF does that mean? Nothing apparently cuz no one seems to question it anymore.
FML
